My mum keeps going on about how proud of me she is and how many that fucking school was for me. She has no idea what happened. No idea about how that school changed me. She has no idea that at the start of the year I was planning on being dead by the time I turned 18. I hate it. I can’t take it when she says that. I just want to scream and tell her what that school made me do. I hate it. I can’t tell her either becuase she will be disappointed in me and hate me. I just want to cry. For two days now, all I want to do is cry and cut. My God, that fucking razor is all I want right now that I feel like it’s killing me. I’m always thinking about today, even at work. I hate myself completely, and all I want is that few moments of control and relief from everything. I dont know how much more I can take before I crumble to my old ways.